Don't let me fall out of love

What the hell was my last post about? Can't believe I wrote that! Can't believe I'm writing this blog again.

Ben: You still love her
Julio: No, I just feel responsible for what happen to her

She's engaged.

I do not love her anymore. Has been 1 year since i last felt that way.

Why do I still tell you "lets just run away together" when you're having a fight with your bf
Why do I still tell you "let's get married, I'll take care of you" when you're suicidal
Why do I still tell you "I'll be your rebound" when you're lost and shattered?
Why do I still listen to "goodbye my lover" with so much pain
Why do I refuse to have a gf with your built and physics, afraid it reminds me of you

Why do I feel i deserve it...this feeling... of loneliness, agony & solemnity
whenever you tell me intimate things about your relationship, and I agree to listen

I changed when your heart changed

Since then I have been smoking till now
Since then I have been refusing to see, hear of read "Love" genres
Since then I have been fascinated by gore, sadness, torture and sadistic pain

Why is it whenever we talk, you ask me 2 questions.

1) Do you have a gf?
2) Have you slept with any girls?

You already know the answer. 2 years ago, I promised you that I

1) will not have a gf until you get married and he could take care of you
2) will only sleep with you
3) catch you when you fall

Why do you feel unsure the last time I called you and asked" Hey, why engage so fast" and u replied.. "Duno....."

It pains me whenever I dream of you.. because in there, you are always sleeping beside me
When I open my eyes, you're gone from my side once again