A pleasant suprise

Today was one very unforgetable day. I have not been proud of the things ive done in life
but true friends can really see pass all this. Ive always had a place for her in my heart
Shes a really nice friend.. a really good friend. Someone who you will recognize in an instant
that she has a kind heart and a good personality. And it was a pleasant surpise when she showed
me what she wrote in the year 2005. I read it.. and couldnt help smiling because it was really
unexpected. And the best part is, it was all coming back to me. The memories .. man do i miss
those days where life wasnt so complicated and it was all simple back then. Sometimes i tend
to avoid feelings or conflict. That is when i turn cold. Im sorry for what happened back then.
I wish you all the best in life and love and hope one day.. you will become a succesfull newscaster.
This thread is dedicated to you :)

Moody

Been having mood swings lately.. the simplest of things makes me
happy while the easiest of things gets me all pissed and stuff. Been seeing lots of movies lately. I loved Babel & The Departed, the most. Babel for its brilliant way of telling the story and..
The Departed.. for well.. the word "fuck" and its derivatives are said 237 times while the word "cunt" is spoken 22 times throughout the film. Oh anyway DiCaprio is such a talent.
Cant wait to watch Blood Diamond. This CNY is one heck of a boring one for me.
Miss my Grandma cant wait to see her <3

Rover & Max

Was talking to Joanne about animals.. suddenly i remember you guys..
how i missed you..Rover..Max.. i could regonise you both over a million
other german sheppards in an instant..
you guys will always be in my heart..my 1st german sheppard..
name is rover...... he kena bang by car 1 day when my mom walking him..
the whole week b4 that he no appetite eat..
usualy my mom walk outside he walk inside.. but that day he walk outside..
suddenly got 1 car speed.. then bang him.. then he at the road there.. i came i cry and
hug him.. on the road.. ppl surrounding.. i cry non stop.. later the vet in car come..
need inject him.. put him to sleep..the last time i saw him he was looking at me
with tear in his eye.. until they injecy him.. i was there holding him..
very sad perioid in my life.. i hate the driver who did that..u canot imagine my hatred
for that driver..

Dear Max i miss you too.. i miss wearing you with mittens when its cold outside.. i wish i could have spend more time with you.. and took care of you more =( you had that naughy smile always.. hUGs.. if i were to lye down bleeding myself.. will you both appear in my eyes for a moment? i miss you guys..

A song i wrote =)

Title - Close Your Eyes
Composed by: J.T

(1st verse)
G D Em7
Middle of the night i can hear your voice
Cadd9
Oh Its crystal clear..
G D Em7
Whispering into my left ear~ (medium)
Cadd9
Memories reappear..~
G D Em7
Desire or Despair?~ (very high)
Cadd9
I guese i already knewww~
G D Em7 Cadd9
Recurring dreams of you.... (low)
G D Em7 Cadd9
Bite the dust once more... ~

(2nd Verse)
G D Em7
Hearing your name every now and then
Cadd9
Lifts me to the skies
G D Em7
The wind is blowing strongly from where i stand
Cadd9
Take me away from here~
G D Em7
When did you lost grip? (High)
Cadd9
I guese you already knew
G D Em7
Did we lost our song? (Low)
Cadd9
The silence is killing me..

(Chorus)
G D
Did you know that ive been
Em7 Cadd9
~so many people~(Very High)
G
in this life.
D Em7 Cadd9
But I know that im falling short of who i am
G D Em7 Cadd9 G
Fall back.. and tell me you're floating alright
D Em7 Cadd9 G (continues)
Lay down, now how did you sleep last night...

(Bridge)
My heart's beating but
there's not a sound left
in this empty heart of mine
The gates are starting to rust..
It's been 2 Years
since it was opened
Time to shut it tight
one final time

(Ending Verse)
G D Em7 Cadd9
I'll let you go..
G D Em7 Cadd9
please close your eyes for me tonight..

all you need is one..

Is time a chalice of unforgetable memories stored into eternity.. till when will it be released again and set free once more? when the memories recollect from an already emtpy soul.... then what happens next?

Do we give up? do we give in? All of those things that i thought was so easy.. just got harder and harder each day. There are billions of trillions of peoples .. but sometimes....................... all you need is one

 

Jan the 31st <3

January 31, 2007

Has it been this long? Has it been this fast?... when did is started ticking? when did it stop? has it? what stopped it? did it? What is life when there are no answers to whats ahead.. why do people go tru life doing the thinks they do without knowing if by any chance.. there will be a forked road where there are 2 options that would alter our faith forever.

Ever wonder what the untaken route would have lead to for better or for worse? Maybe in another timeline in an exact replica of an existing sphere around us.. i might find those freaking forsaken answers...

Todays important for me.. it probably always will.. heck it always will !!! I cant see beyond what i already percept for it pains me .. to look back and forth.. past and future... im not gonna go around assuming nor judging the very blueprint that has now turned to dust..

Doesnt it feels like yesterday that youve got ur whole life planned out.. but it feels like forever to see it through right now....

Hello again.. dear bloggy...

Its been so long since ive been here... but now that. im back .. can i stay for awhile? 2 years have past me by.. times have changed.. feelings have changed..knowledge have changed.. experience have changed.. my life has drastically changed.. everything i knew dearly to me has been a lie all this while.. an illusion.. seems like all that was important to me is not really so.. not anymore. Im starting to feel lost once again in this big unfriendly world. I always had hope and dreamed a future for us.. but all that has been shattered right in front of me. It pains me so much .. so soo freaking much.....i cry myself to sleep.. countless nights u will never find out.. countless nights figuring
.. i know im unworthy for you.. regret fills my soul.. the joy and happiness deep within me shall never be healed.. im not like you.. once i am broken.. it can never be fixed.. i dont want to.. i wont want to.. i shall never want to.. i have lost faith in this cliche feeling.. isnt it overated to begin with? i once believed in true love.. but never again.